Show Notes

You can’t checkbox a human

I’ve filled out enough forms to know when a system is asking about people and when it’s just trying to sort them neatly. This episode came from that exact frustration. The boxes never quite fit, the wording misses the point, and somehow the burden still lands on the person already doing the work of explaining themselves.

In this episode, I’m talking about what happens when inclusion gets reduced to a form field, a policy line, or a neat little category. Real inclusion is not a checkbox. It’s a relationship. It asks better questions. It leaves room for description, context, and actual humanity. Because people do not live in tidy boxes, and forcing them to fit there is how systems create invisibility, mislabelling, and exclusion.

I unpack why accessibility and inclusion need to prioritise people over administrative efficiency, and why listening properly will always matter more than getting through a process faster. If your system only works for people who can fit the form, then the system is the problem.

If you’ve ever felt unseen by a form, a policy, or a process that claimed to be inclusive, this one will hit.

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Question for you: When was the last time a system asked you to fit the box instead of telling the truth about your needs?

Transcript

Shantelle Poynter
[00:01] You're listening to Different Like You. I'm Shantelle, neurodivergent nurse, solo mum, queen of the side quest and your health care hype girl. And today I need to talk to you about something that has properly got me cranky. It's one of those moments that seem really small if you've never lived it. But when you have, it's another exhausting reminder that systems designed to be inclusive still manage to make us feel invisible. So buckle in because we're going there.

[01:31] Last week, I was filling out a form for a non-government organisation. It was for a programme that I'm participating in, supposedly community-focused, inclusive, trauma-informed, and it had every buzzword that made me think maybe this will be different. I was doing the intake questionnaire on the phone and then came the question, do you have a disability? I went to answer and they stopped me and said, I'll give you the options and then you choose. The options...

[01:59] were a short list of categories, none of which fit and none that reflected my diagnosis. So I was really honest with them and said, this doesn't really fit. And the response was, well, I'll just tick prefer not to say then. Sorry, what the actual fuck? No, no, I'm very happy to say. So I held that bit in and I very politely asked, is there an option to be able to enter information in? No.

[02:28] Just a box was the reply. And in that moment, I really struggled to understand how the people that created this form, because it's meant to support people with a diagnosis, was then able to capture the accurate data, because that's what my brain does with the background that I have working in business optimization and strategy, that all their data will now be incorrect if this is what this particular staff member is doing and who knows who else is doing it.

[02:58] So let's be clear, I do want to say, I do want it to be documented. I want to be represented accurately. And what I won't do is be shoved into a box that doesn't reflect me or erase because your boxes are too small. And I was horrified that in an effort to support people with a diagnosis, we have then managed to completely insult them and miss the mark.

[03:27] And this is what happens when inclusion is reduced to a form and it's not accessible. Inclusion isn't about providing a tick box. It's a relationship. It's not a question. It's the response. Here's what I wish they would have said instead. Hey, thanks for letting us know. Could you describe it in your own words? We want to make this experience accessible for everyone. So if there's anything that we can do differently to support you throughout this process, we're really happy to do that.

[03:56] I understand that you can't educate everyone on every disability that would sit within the criteria that they had, but leading with curiosity provides a genuinely inclusive space for people to participate and feel like that even though this person maybe isn't familiar or they haven't had prior information about how they can help you, they're really open to learning about what would help you in this moment. It does not need to be perfect. It does not need

[04:25] To be polished, it needs to lean in to the other human. Because when we respond to someone's identity or access needs with a shrug and a lazy default, you're not just being dismissive. You're reinforcing the systems that are designed poorly and actually create the issues in the first place. I'm tired. I'm so tired of advocating.

[04:53] just to be acknowledged. I'm tired of being given a choice between being mislabelled or invisible. Like that's messed up. Here's the thing that I don't think a lot of people want to say. If your inclusion policy still centres the needs of admin over the needs of the people that you're claiming to include, it's not inclusion. It's efficiency. Masquerading is equity. And I'm all about efficiency. Please don't get me wrong there. I've come from a background of

[05:22] Optimisation and strategy and efficiency is important, but it should never be the driver. If the only way to be counted is to fit into categories that someone else has created, it's not safety, it's standardisation and mislabelling. So here is my invitation from my experience in the professional world and also from my human experience. Next time you're developing a form or a programme, a survey, a policy, please.

[05:51] Ask yourself and your team, am I making this form easier in order to collect the right data? Or is the priority the people that we say we're supporting? So if somebody says, I don't fit into that box, please don't dismiss them. Please don't think that you have to make a box for everybody. You don't. The job is to listen. And if you're collecting data, if you want the right data, you need to make it inclusive.

[06:21] Inclusion shouldn't feel like a fight. It shouldn't feel like it's hard work. We should be making considerations for all people, not adjustments in response to a diagnosis. So that's my rant for today. If this episode sounded like a familiar experience for you, please share it with other people. You are not the only one. Share it with your team, your leader, your mates designing the next so-called inclusive thing.

[06:50] That's how the ripple effect works. You've been listening to Different Like You. I'm Shantelle Poynter. Be kind, be curious and always be open to learning. If all you did today was show up, that's more than enough.

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